Kate Marolt Sunday, December 20, 2009

I was just reading my old online diary, and I came across the following list from June 29, 2003:

32 Things To Do...
Hmm well this is my 32nd entry of 2003...so I decided to make a "32 things to do before I am 32" list. Here goes:

32 Things To Do Before I'm 32

1. Go to college *
2. Find a 4-leaf clover *
3. Write a novel
4. Become fluent in Spanish *
5. Be on a game show
6. Learn HTML (more than basics) *
7. Get a degree in design *
8. Have my own clothing line
9. Become fluent in French, Italian, German, and Portuguese...to name a few.
10. Learn to skateboard
11. Study abroad *
12. Be a camp counselor
13. Meet INCUBUS
14. Live in New York
15. Learn Karate
16. Organize my bookshelf *
17. Go to every state in the US
18. Own 500 CDs
19. Read all of Shakespeare's plays
20. Make a million dollars
21. Design a building
22. Get married
23. Play golf
24. Travel to Greece
25. Go to all 21 Hispanic countries
26. Go to my 10 year high school reunion
27. Design an amusement park
28. Perform my songs
29. Eat gelato in Italy
30. Invent something
31. Reach my 30th birthday
32. Discover who I am.
 *** (* denotes something I have achieved or have almost achieved)

Now this is incredible to me. It's so easy to forget the details, and while sometimes it is really really hard for me to go back and read past journal entries, poetry, etc., at other times its amazing to be reading this and still see ME so clearly. Sure, if I were to remake this list some things would change, but the essence is still there. I feel like I'm at a really exciting time in my life. A huge phase (full-time school) is about to end. I have been in school for as long as I can really remember. And I like to remember, sometimes. Sometimes when I go back and re-read my words, re-experience my pain, my frustration, my uncertainty it kills me that I can't reach out to the person writing, letting her know it's going to turn out okay, even if some of the same frustrations and insecurities are still there. But at the same time it heals me, knowing how much more capable I am of dealing with it, and when I come across entries like this I am glad that that girl survived and makes up a vital part of my life. It's never too late to nurture my inner teenager. She still appreciates the attention.

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