tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17139697499974469032024-02-20T16:18:50.315-08:00Livin' GroovyLiving a life of joy, inspiration, and laughterKate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-31210447524203508262010-04-12T14:36:00.000-07:002010-04-12T14:37:42.695-07:00Turning a negative experience into something positive<h3 class="GenericStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;">I haven't felt compelled to write in here for a long time. However, today one of my former mentors, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/patrickcombs">Patrick Combs</a>, asked the following question, and as it was very timely and relevant to a situation in my life, I responded, and wanted to share my response as well as additional thoughts on the question.</span></h3><h3 class="GenericStory_Message" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span style="font-size: small;">What is your best habit or trait for success? What has resulted in the most success for you?</span></i></b></h3><i>I would like to preface my response by saying that while there is success and failure in all different aspects of my life, when I read this question my thoughts went to success within myself and how I treat other people and the world, and that is how I would like to respond.</i><br />
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For me it's about my personal relationships, as they affect everything I do. When something goes wrong, I figure out the root of the issue, try and place myself in the position of the other person or people involved, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. If I am angry at someone, I figure out what qualities in myself have brought out that <span class="text_exposed_hide"><span class="text_exposed_link"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=1713969749997446903&postID=3121044752420350826" onclick="CSS.addClass($("text_expose_id_4bc38ab3194034fd0b0f4"),
"text_exposed");"></a></span></span><span class="text_exposed_show">anger. By placing the responsibility on myself to determine the way I feel and interact with the situation, I am able to handle things calmly, kindly, and with the right degree of importance. I incorporate the same practice into my goals and experiences. If something goes wrong, or I fail, I re-frame what happened so that it turns into a positive learning experience. This isn't always easy, but if I am persistent about it, every outcome eventually takes on a degree of positivity and I am able to move forward.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">***</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">It has taken me every single day of my 21 and a half years to get to this point. I have gone through many cycles of depression, battled countless insecurities, and spent many days feeling worthless. I am nowhere near perfect. I have done hurtful things, I have lashed out in anger, and I have isolated myself and rejected everyone who cares about me.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">But that is my past, and my response above is what I am working on in order to construct my present and my future. I experienced a situation a couple of days ago that gave me the opportunity to see just how far I have come from the person I used to be. In order to keep anonymity for the other person involved I will not go into details, but this was a situation in which I could easily have been cast as a victim. My initial reaction was to be angry, to cut the other person down with biting words that would tear down their character.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Instead, I took a step back. I was fortunate enough to be able to put a bit of time and distance between myself and the situation, but I was able to compose my thoughts and my feelings enough through journaling, exercise, and meditation in order to respond to the situation calmly and without creating more trouble.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Getting angry and being a victim may feel good in the short term, but overall not only does it not solve anything, but it may escalate a situation even further. The person in question apologized and asked for my forgiveness. And while this does not excuse this person's actions, I understand that this person was not trying to hurt me, and that this person would have to live with their actions, while it was completely in my control how I responded and felt about what had happened. So I forgave this person. I impressed upon this person that what had occurred was not okay, but love and kindness are what matter far more than anger and cruelty.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">By forgiving this person, I was able to forgive myself for my part in the experience, and I was able to let go of what may have been a lot of pain and darkness. I am not beyond the situation yet, nor will things between me and this person remain the same, but I can remain centered and myself, integrity and self-awareness in tact.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Lastly, in order to continue to feel love for this person as a human, I found a way in which I could thank this person for what had happened, even if I was only thanking them in my head. I thanked this person for the opportunity to test my inner strength and my self respect, as well as for letting me down- because by letting me down, this person made it necessary for me to acquire the tools and resources to pick myself back up.</span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show">Bringing this back to the question of success, it is experiences like this that pull me through hard work, frustrations, and failures. By being able to turn any situation into a positive, growing experience, I am able to persist, have breakthroughs, sustain love for every living thing, and keep being inspired by all of the beautiful things in the world. </span>Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-35939661638879201772010-01-03T12:27:00.000-08:002010-01-03T12:29:43.249-08:00Writing my 2010 storyA couple of days ago, I saw this blog post on twitter: <a href="http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/01/living-a-good-story-an-alternative-to-new-years-resolutions/">Living a Good Story, and Alternative to New Years Resolutions</a>. I have always had a slight aversion to New Year's resolutions- if I want to change something I should just do it, instead of using the convenient excuse of a new year. However, when new things come around, like birthdays, new years, changing seasons, etc., inevitably it is a time of reflection and a time to hope for change in our lives. This post spoke to me because the basics of what it talks about are that setting goals isn't enough. We need to create a narrative around the goal so that we will commit to it and fulfill the climactic result of this narrative.<br />
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Now, I love goal setting, when it's done right. In my early teens I was taught to set goals with these steps:<br />
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* Positive outcome<br />
* Present tense<br />
* Date accomplished by<br />
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For example, instead of saying, "I will get straight A's this quarter", my goal would be "I have a 4.0 GPA on March 18th, 2010". Or, instead of "I'm going to lose x amount of weight", my goal would be "I am a healthy, active, fit, XXX pound woman by June 1, 2010".<br />
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Giving our brains a positive mental image and a deadline makes it much easier to stick to goals. But this post takes it several steps further, in a direction I really enjoy.<br />
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His steps are:<br />
1. Want something<br />
2. Envision a climactic scene<br />
3. Create an inciting incident (find a way to hold yourself accountable)<br />
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For that first goal, I could go beyond that and picture myself on graduation day, graduation summa cum laude (with highest honors) and vividly imagine how good that will feel, and how proud of me my parents will be, etc. etc. To ensure that this will happen, I have already told my parents that I will be graduating summa cum laude. No way I can go back on that now!<br />
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For the second, even though I am not concerned about weight I would like to get into ridiculously great shape this year. I am imagining myself beating my half marathon time twice (I think I'm going to run two this year) and scaling peaks around Colorado, where I am moving at the end of the summer, and knowing that I have to be in great shape to do both of those. As for the half marathon, I am running the first with somebody and plan on sharing my goals with several people so that they will help hold me accountable. As for the mountain climbing, I've talked to my friends out there and told them to be ready. Which subsequently means that I have to be ready.<br />
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I'm excited to sit down and write out in detail all of my stories for the coming year, and to figure out all of the things I'm going to have to do, all of the conflicts and struggles I will have to endure in order to make these stories happen. I like the idea that I am still pursuing my goals but that I am creating meaning beyond my mind and beyond myself for them. I also like that when all of this is accomplished I'll be able to look back on my year with satisfaction.<br />
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What does your 2010 story look like? What moments will make it great?Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-64983920786682480062009-12-20T21:48:00.000-08:002009-12-20T21:48:42.055-08:00Goals, age 14:<strong>I was just reading my old online diary, and I came across the following list from June 29, 2003: <br />
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<strong>32 Things To Do...</strong><br />
Hmm well this is my 32nd entry of 2003...so I decided to make a "32 things to do before I am 32" list. Here goes:<br />
<center><u>32 Things To Do Before I'm 32</u></center><br />
1. Go to college *<br />
2. Find a 4-leaf clover *<br />
3. Write a novel<br />
4. Become fluent in Spanish *<br />
5. Be on a game show<br />
6. Learn HTML (more than basics) *<br />
7. Get a degree in design *<br />
8. Have my own clothing line<br />
9. Become fluent in French, Italian, German, and Portuguese...to name a few.<br />
10. Learn to skateboard<br />
11. Study abroad *<br />
12. Be a camp counselor<br />
13. Meet INCUBUS<br />
14. Live in New York<br />
15. Learn Karate<br />
16. Organize my bookshelf *<br />
17. Go to every state in the US<br />
18. Own 500 CDs<br />
19. Read all of Shakespeare's plays<br />
20. Make a million dollars<br />
21. Design a building<br />
22. Get married<br />
23. Play golf<br />
24. Travel to Greece<br />
25. Go to all 21 Hispanic countries<br />
26. Go to my 10 year high school reunion<br />
27. Design an amusement park<br />
28. Perform my songs<br />
29. Eat gelato in Italy<br />
30. Invent something<br />
31. Reach my 30th birthday<br />
32. Discover who I am.<br />
*** (* denotes something I have achieved or have almost achieved)<br />
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Now this is incredible to me. It's so easy to forget the details, and while sometimes it is really really hard for me to go back and read past journal entries, poetry, etc., at other times its amazing to be reading this and still see ME so clearly. Sure, if I were to remake this list some things would change, but the essence is still there. I feel like I'm at a really exciting time in my life. A huge phase (full-time school) is about to end. I have been in school for as long as I can really remember. And I like to remember, sometimes. Sometimes when I go back and re-read my words, re-experience my pain, my frustration, my uncertainty it kills me that I can't reach out to the person writing, letting her know it's going to turn out okay, even if some of the same frustrations and insecurities are still there. But at the same time it heals me, knowing how much more capable I am of dealing with it, and when I come across entries like this I am glad that that girl survived and makes up a vital part of my life. It's never too late to nurture my inner teenager. She still appreciates the attention.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-70488255654013116272009-12-12T09:08:00.000-08:002009-12-12T09:08:01.907-08:00Things I Love About My BodyLast night I was reading a blog post at <a href="http://www.crankyfitness.com/2009/12/i-am-sitting-naked-in-chair-and-if-i.html">Cranky Fitness</a> and they were addressing something that has been addressed many times before: women and body image. As women we are given societal clues that we will never be thin enough, pretty enough, sexy enough, or good enough. I've touched on this before, in my <a href="http://revolutionofcolor.blogspot.com/2009/07/celebration-of-me.html">Celebration of Me</a> post, but sometimes it feels like it's not enough. So last night I made a list of things I love about my body and would like to share that now:<br />
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Things I love about my body:<br />
<ul><li>My hair is awesomely wavy. All I have to do is occasionally wash and comb it for it to look good.</li>
<li>My eyes are extremely blue, and with them I view the world, notice details and vibrant colors, express unspoken sentiments and witness beauty all around me.</li>
<li>I love my neck for being long and strong, and for holding my head which contains my mind.</li>
<li>I appreciate my shoulders for carrying all of my stress and tension, and for supporting my arms and any weight that I carry.</li>
<li>My arms are strong and flexible, able to do many push-ups and chatarangas. They also can carry my groceries the mile back to my apartment.</li>
<li>I am incredibly thankful for my hands and fingers. Their dexterity, muscle memory, and strength allow for hours of writing, drawing, painting, typing, playing guitar, playing other instruments, crafting, and all sorts of other skills requiring the slightest of movements and great control.</li>
<li>I love my spine for keeping me upright and in line, and for notifying me when something is out of balance in my body.</li>
<li>I love my abs and my stomach for propelling me though the day, for being able to hold a plank for more than 2 minutes, and for keeping me warm.</li>
<li>**One more thing I love about my arms, back and shoulders** Thank you for the ability to accurately and consistently throw a disc and for always remembering how.</li>
<li>I love my hips for containing my womb, and for holding my emotions and supporting me, even when I let them get way too tight.</li>
<li>I love my legs for carrying me through a half marathon, for their strength and speed when I play ultimate, and for bringing me everywhere I go.</li>
<li>I love my butt for providing me a padded seat, and my glutes for being really strong.</li>
<li>I love my knees for overcompensating for my weaker hamstrings and hip flexors. I also love them for remaining intact after several injuries.</li>
<li>I love my feet for bearing my weight, and for being strong, and for putting up with my obsessive nail picking.</li>
<li>I love my bones, my muscles, my veins, my organs, my tendons and ligaments, my glands and nodes. I love my joins, my skin, my nails, my teeth, the fluids that run through my body, and my freckles.</li>
<li>I love it all, because it is mine.</li>
</ul>Every single part of my body serves a miraculous purpose, and I am so grateful for all of it. Even though I know that there will be moments of insecurities and feelings of not being good enough probably for the rest of my life, I think it is so important to break the way I have been trained to think about myself and actively subvert that thinking. Because when I feel true love for myself, my life is much richer and more joyful.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-35302353264473915512009-12-10T20:09:00.000-08:002009-12-10T20:09:36.454-08:00Stress and motivationI started this blog as a way to voice my philosophies and thoughts on life, as well as a place I could put my experiences within a potentially larger context. It's interesting how relentlessly positive I was this past summer, and how I have been struggling with optimism for the past couple of months. It has been hard to place my shadowy unhappiness- it only appears sometimes, or as an accumulation of way too much going on in my life.<br />
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I think I started to feel less whole sometime around mid-October, though it's not really something I can place, as I didn't notice it until I was already deep in it. But logically, mid-October sounds right. I let myself take on way too much, and left very little time for myself. I was taking five classes, 4 of which were 300-level, and started my second job at around that time. The last three weeks of school I was a haze of caffeine and energy bars. I was mentally exhausted and foggy, and was sapped of the majority of my joy and energy. I got really sick around mid-October as well- the swine flu, actually, and I never completely recovered from all of the work that piled up around me during that time.<br />
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Every few months I get run down because I let myself take on too much. I stretch myself too thin, and forget to think about my own health. I lose sleep, only excercise sporadically, eat a lot of processed foods, drink coffee like it's water and eventually my body shuts down from the stress.<br />
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I will not allow myself to do this anymore. I am going to work on being realistic about how much time I can commit to outside activities. I am currently working on decreasing stressors in my life. It is easier at the moment because I am on break, but it is also difficult to release habits and tendencies that are so ingrained into me.<br />
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Current stressors (to name a few):<br />
<ul><li>Projects hanging over my head (including my thesis)</li>
<li>Money issues</li>
<li>Diet (my nutritional intake these days is far from optimal, even if healthy)</li>
<li>Caffeine</li>
<li>Overexercising and then underexercising</li>
<li>Being alone a lot</li>
</ul>Things I'm doing to help ease them:<br />
<ul><li>Eat out way less and plan my meals in advance for a lighter grocery bill and less stress over what to eat</li>
<li>I have been coffee-free for a week and I have been exhausted. I am going to attempt to limit my consumption to 1-2 cups a day. I refuse to eliminate it completely because I love the taste so much and my life would be less rich without it.</li>
<li>Less intense exercise daily (under 45 min) compared to 2-3 days a week of intense strength training (1 hour or more). I am also fortunate enough to be taking yoga classes right now, which is fantastic for my body, mind, and spirit.</li>
</ul>I feel like everybody has way too many stressors in their lives.When I become too constantly stressed, I lose motivation and inspiration, which in turn stresses me out more. In order for me to live my life the way I want to live, I must try to eliminate stress as much as possible, via whatever means I can. A little bit of stress, such as meeting a deadline, can be good for me, but not this chronic feeling I have when I am booked solid for 70 hours a week.<br />
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Basically, taking time for ourselves is essential. Identifying stressors, figuring out what to do about them, doing that and taking time to do what we love will keep balance and peace in our hearts and lives.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-76082563475069984952009-08-18T12:55:00.001-07:002009-08-18T13:09:18.857-07:00Rain on the pavementAfter more than a week of not really exercising and eating mainly chips and salsa and peanut butter sandwiches my body was not feeling all that great. As a result, I was not in the best state of mind either. When I get that way I know that the best thing for me is to get up and run but it's also the toughest time to do so. Finally, luckily, last night around 6:30 I couldn't take it anymore and I got up, put on my shoes, and was out the door before I really had the chance to think about it.<br /><br />Something pretty amazing happened- rather than taking a mile or so to hit my stride and sink in to the run, I felt good right away. Those first few steps really clicked and not only did I feel incredible but I was running significantly faster than I usually do. It was slightly raining and finally cooling off, and as I got to the lakefront path I was feeling really, really good. Something about the rain and the ease with which my body was running helped me relax more than I have in weeks. This may sound cliche but seriously, every step was like my worries and doubts diminished and I became stronger.<br /><br />I managed to sustain that pace for about four miles, and just as I was starting to get tired I rounded a corner and there was a perfect rainbow over the harbor. It was absolutely beautiful and that unexpected delight gave me enough energy to finish my run feeling good and at a pace faster than I knew that I could do. I don't think I have ever, before yesterday, actually taken the time to consciously be grateful for refraction of light and the ability of our eyes to witness it. But I am so grateful for that, because it allows us to see the world in color, and to perceive all the different hues, tints, shades, and tones that make up our complex realities.<br /><br />On a different note, I think I am moving into a new phase in my life. I'm not entirely sure why I feel this way, but I can sense that change coming. I'm curious to see what discoveries I make along the way.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-47257949660453301122009-08-17T20:08:00.000-07:002009-08-17T20:27:24.126-07:00I'm back from accidental hiatusOops I have neglected this blog for the past month! There has been so much going on with me- a lot of great opportunities at work with my design job, so many great ultimate frisbee games and good times with my friends. I have also been moving into a new apartment (I'm finally here and getting settled) and that has been stressful but fun. I also had my 21st birthday this past week, and am so grateful to all of the friends that have come around to celebrate me and wish me well. Thanks to everyone who makes me feel so special every day!<br /><br />Now that I'm out of that busy transition phase for awhile, hopefully I will have time for more updates. I hope you have all had a great summer so far and are making the most of your August!Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-22150604825400092302009-07-13T10:11:00.000-07:002009-07-13T11:00:00.818-07:00Celebration of me!Today is a special day. It is my one year anniversary of being a single woman and of dedicating my time to falling in love with myself rather than placing my worth into the hands of someone else. I decided the morning after the end of a 1 year, 7 month relationship that I was going to live that day for me and not look back. Inevitably, there were times of looking back. Times of wondering, and a lot of time needed for healing. But that decision to live each moment for me and for my life has stuck with me every single day since then.<br /><br />I am exactly one month away from my 21st birthday. I started a relationship the summer I turned 17 that lasted for 1 year, 4 months. Less than a month later, I was in the aforementioned relationship. I spent three years of my life, my senior year of high school and first two years of university, in relationships. That amazes me now. I loved those years and I loved those boys, but looking back I am amazed at how little I was really living for <span style="font-style: italic;">me</span>.<br /><br />So today I am celebrating my past year, my love affair with myself, and all of the great moments and experiences that I have had, as well as the learning experiences that have made me stronger and wiser.<br />Last summer I started learning a lot about nutrition and dedicated myself to exercise and eating healthy. I learned that I love the feeling of sore muscles after a day of lifting, and that I feel great when I eat right.<br />At the very end of August 2008 I moved to Barcelona, Spain for 4 months to study and I experienced so much, both externally and internally, that I am still processing the changes that that time brought in me. It's still amazing to me that I fulfilled a dream of going to Spain and living in another country- both things that I have wanted to do since I was probably 7 or 8 years old- and only have increased desire to learn and explore other places.<br />Winter of 2009 was tough for me; things weren't the same as I had left them and I didn't know where I fit in my Chicago life anymore. I learned the value of a few close friends, and how good it feels to go to bed early and wake up early every day. I was very productive and spent a lot of time with myself, reflecting and thinking.<br />This spring and summer so far have been incredible- I have my own adventures, when I want them, and have been doing a lot of things spontaneously. I am also slowly figuring out how to let my inner perfectionist go and to just be and to love me. Toward the end of March, I stopped wearing makeup regularly. From ages 11-20 I would not leave the house without makeup; now I only put it on for a special occasion. When I look in the mirror every morning I like who I see.<br />I have also met a lot of great people, stayed close with my friends, and look forward to my half marathon training and days at the beach.<br /><br />I have finally learned to love myself exactly as I am right now. It isn't always easy, but every morning when I wake up I tell myself 'I love you' and make a conscious decision to enjoy my entire day. I am living more simply, and can't remember the last time I did anything to my hair but comb it. Gone is the need to impress, or the fear that I'm not good enough exactly as I am.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeZINEabKSSMn7dDpquzfiCgQG7dOAFSVOlyam5ChyphenhyphenT7qPCa4GWzSOfaW8mzs1ZGoR2HY5rJ20uhkkGNFiupNwJiq1igyTZLWRpwlW2CFNbBlBSYdr5Lk7BxfqAhtz83JEa5TKarbKPrA/s1600-h/Picture+001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeZINEabKSSMn7dDpquzfiCgQG7dOAFSVOlyam5ChyphenhyphenT7qPCa4GWzSOfaW8mzs1ZGoR2HY5rJ20uhkkGNFiupNwJiq1igyTZLWRpwlW2CFNbBlBSYdr5Lk7BxfqAhtz83JEa5TKarbKPrA/s320/Picture+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358004945189357442" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">Me right now! Haven't showered from my workout yet :)<br />Wish I had a better camera at the moment. But it's all good, I know I look great.</span><br /></div><br />I make decisions for myself now. I don't feel the need to consult with anyone, and I am living in line with my values. I became vegetarian, and then vegan. If I don't feel like going out one night, I don't and I don't feel guilty about it. When I exercise it's because of how great it makes me feel, not because I am desperately trying to lose weight or look 'right'. I cook delicious dinners for myself and enjoy them immensely. I started this blog, I create art a lot more, and I just started a company with a friend of mine (more on that soon!).<br /><br />Sure, all of this would have been possible while in a relationship, but I needed to figure it out on my own and be secure in my love for myself before falling in love again with someone else. I am so happy and know that I am fortunate to have fallen in love twice already in my life. I have also fallen out of love twice, and know that I can get through it. I also know that I will never fall out of love with myself. Every day I am working toward being the person I want to be and loving the person I am.<br /><br />So today I am celebrating. It is such a gorgeous day. I woke up early, had a delicious breakfast, and went to the gym. I plan on spending the afternoon in a park reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Virgins-Lover-Boleyn-Philippa-Gregory/dp/0743269268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247506541&sr=1-1">The Virgin's Lover</a> (I love historical fiction, and am fascinated by the Tudor family..these books are incredible) and/or drinking margaritas with a friend of mine. Then tonight I have an ultimate frisbee game and will be going to <a href="http://www.piecechicago.com/flash/index.html">Piece Pizza and Brewery</a> afterward for the free pizza and good company. I absolutely love my life and I love me.<br /><br />What do you do to celebrate yourself?Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-39290696357974134782009-07-07T21:00:00.000-07:002009-07-07T21:25:35.848-07:00Turning a bummer situation into an exciting opportunityAn unexpected life change is approaching me this summer. After almost two years of living in my beautiful apartment, circumstances have shifted and I will be moving out before school starts at the beginning of September.<br /><br />When this news first hit me I was kind of shocked and very sad. This is the first place I have lived in my entire life, aside from my parent's house, that has really felt like home. I live on a beautiful, tree-lined street in Lakeview, Chicago, IL, walking distance from school and many other things. I have great roommates, both friends and ultimate frisbee teammates. Lovely living room, skylight, big kitchen, very reasonable rent...and it was where I came back to after living abroad for 4 months. My Chicago home.<br /><br />However, after sitting on this for a day or two, I decided to shift my way of thinking. <span style="font-style: italic;">Rather than focus on all that I had to give up, wouldn't it be better to focus on both what I already have and what other possibilities there could be?</span> So I came up with a list of reasons why a new place and possibly new roommates would be positive changes in my life:<br /><br /><ul><li>Potentially cheaper rent</li><li>Living with people my own age (my roommates are both a year younger...last year they were both older)</li><li>Since I wouldn't see my roommates every day anymore, I would appreciate our friendship more and make an effort to see them outside of the context of 'are you done in the bathroom yet?'</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">This is a big one:</span> The opportunity to majorly downsize my belongings and accumulated STUFF.</li><li>Not become to attached to this place. I already know I want to leave the country after I graduate to explore, work, and travel but am afraid that I may choose what I know. After another year in this apartment-that-is-fast-becoming-my-home that would be a lot more difficult to let go of.<br /></li></ul>After making this initial list, I was starting to feel much more at peace with the situation. Especially after talking about it more with my roommates. And then a great opportunity came up- two of my good friends just moved into a place, and their third roommate is actually leaving the city so they need someone to fill her space. They live closer to campus, rent is the same price, and they are my age. Also, they are not on my ultimate team, which at this point is a plus- I am realizing the importance of not limiting myself to one group of friends!<br /><br />So it's great that all of this fell into place for me. I think that when I'm ready to accept certain things as they are, the right opportunities are more likely to come along for the future. Also, some specific positives about moving into this particular apartment:<br /><br /><ul><li>They already have furniture. They do not need my two couches and two armchairs. One couch and chair that I have have been in my family forever...a lot of sentimental value both from my parents and from me. Great opportunity to let them go (especially because they are leather).</li><li>The room I will be moving into is probably a bit smaller than mine. Which means I have to get rid of things. And as moving is such a hassle (I've done it 6 times in the past 3 years) I want to keep it as simple as possible. My goal is to be able to fit all of my possessions into a regular size car.</li><li>It is a quarter of a mile from the art building. Which means that instead of leaving at 8:15 for my 8:45 am classes, I can leave at 8:40. That's brilliant.</li><li>Again, that close means that I can go home to eat or to grab something. No more carrying my life around in my backpack.</li><li>I will get to live with two girls who are a lot of fun, great friends, and different from me, which will keep things enjoyable and interesting!</li></ul><br />What I'm trying to say is, I could be upset about having to change what is already working very well for me and having to rearrange my life and my space yet again. But instead, when I think about the positives and find ways to turn a potentially bad situation into a good one, I get excited about the possibilities rather than dwelling on the doors that are shutting. I'm not saying that this is always easy. But it is something I strive to do every day so that I am peace with my world as is and am able to create a reality in which each day is better than the next.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-29688307144826561502009-07-04T08:25:00.000-07:002009-07-04T09:09:33.566-07:00Half-Marathon- DedicationsAs some of you may know, I am currently in training to run the <a href="http://www.chicagohalfmarathon.com/">Chicago Half Marathon</a> on September 13, 2009. I have never run in a race before, nor have I ever run more than 4 or 5 miles at a time, but it started off as a great challenge for me, as well as a chance to prove to that 13 year old still inside of me that I can, in fact, run, and don't need to hide in the nurse's office on the day of the mile run in gym class. Yes I did that. No I could not run one mile. I don't know if it was physical or mental, but I couldn't. And yes I got made fun of for it.<br /><br />I couldn't bring myself to run a full mile without stopping until my junior year of high school. And even then it was only because a friend was with me every step of the way telling me that I could do it. Running to me has always been <span style="font-style: italic;">hard work</span><span>, but also the only true measure of fitness. I know that isn't necessarily true, but I still have yet to shake that paradigm from my mind.<br /><br />Anyway, I am almost done with week 3 of training, and so far so good. I printed out weekly schedules for myself and when I complete a workout I give myself a big star or smiley face. Even on days when it's tough to get going (like running 5 miles today, I'm already procrastinating) I know that as soon as I get out there, about a mile or so in I will hit my stride and stop obsessively adding up blocks to figure out how far I've gone/need to go. And that feeling I get, when I realize that I'm not thinking about running anymore, is incredible. I know that all runners say this, but it feels like I have discovered this whole new beautiful thing! It's so great.<br /><br />Still, I wanted to be able to do something to help me past the time on actual race day, though up until this point I hadn't really been thinking about it too hard; I just knew something would come up. And then a couple of nights ago when I was reading the new <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com">Women's Health</a>, I found it. At the front of the magazine, on the "Tell Women's Health" page, there is a side column of advice from readers, and this month it was how to motivate yourself during outdoor workouts. One woman said that while she was swimming, she would dedicate each lap to thinking about someone in her life.<br /><br />This is brilliant. When I read that I got goosebumps all over my body and I knew that that was it. I am going to dedicate each of the first 12 miles of the half marathon to someone or a group of people that are important to me, and during the entire mile I am going to focus on all of the good qualities about that person and send out positive thoughts to the universe for her or him. And I can practice this during training! I can't think of a better way to focus on gratitude and how wonderful all of the people in my life are, all while doing something great for myself. I'm going to save the last 1.1 miles for myself and focus on all of the things I love about me, because <span style="font-style: italic;">in order to truly love and appreciate others, I must love and appreciate myself first.</span><br /><br />There will be more updates on my training status throughout the summer- this is a huge challenge for me and the journey has been exciting so far! There is nothing like pushing myself just to see how far I can go. What sorts of challenges are you taking on in your life?<br /></span>Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-79081985742311985202009-06-29T22:10:00.000-07:002009-06-29T23:10:28.222-07:00Books for the soul, or why I love readingIt has been awhile since I have read a novel or a story that has made every part of me come alive. There are certain books that, once picked up, I am unable to put down or think of anything else until I have known them in their entirety. And then, after reading for anywhere from 4-16 hours straight, I am unable to sleep because I am so wrapped up in the magic, and when I do finally drift off, my dreams are filled with vivid scenes spiraling out of my imagination from the pages of these beautiful treasures.<br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Wind-Carlos-Ruiz-Zaf%C3%B3n/dp/0143034901/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246337874&sr=8-1"><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">La sombra del viento/The Shadow of the Wind</span> </a>by Carlos Ruiz Zafon is one such book. (Excuse my inability to properly accent at the moment.) I happened upon this book accidentally, and as soon as I started reading, like with many books before it, I am absolutely amazed that I didn't know it sooner. The book is set in Barcelona, which automatically makes me love it due to the familiarity of street corners and forgotten plazas I spent my four months there exploring. There is something so thrilling of being able to see the places in my mind, as they really are and how I can then imagine them to be 60 years ago, in the time period of the novel. Not to mention the nostalgia and memories these images evoke of my time in the city, and the little glimmers of understanding I was just beginning to glean from its ancient buildings and reserved people. It always amazes me, those moments when a book (or a poem, play, song, work of art) comes to me at just the right moment, in such a way that I can't imagine having never known it before this point, when it is exactly what I need to the point of being magical.<br /><br />Rather than write an in-depth review and then tell everyone to go read this book (though if you are at all like me you definitely should!), I just want to reflect on the experience of reading and the way it feels when I really fall into a book and can't come out for awhile. I had this experience for the first time probably when I was about 3 years old, and though I am told I couldn't possibly remember this, I remember the first book I could ever 'read'- Scary, Scary Halloween. It was a kids book that I made my parents read to me so much that I memorized it and would 'read' (recite) it to everyone and anyone who would listen. Thus is my first memory of my love of books.<br /><br />Getting involved in a story that sparks a multitude of memories, emotions, and moments where you forget to breathe does incredible things for me. It's amazing that I can get involved to a point where the entire world disappears and only the world between the pages is real. It makes me sad, sometimes, when I meet a person and discover that she or he doesn't enjoy reading. I wonder how and why she or he has been denied this pleasure that all who are fortunate enough to be literate should be granted. I understand that life is busy, that television is easier, that some books may be boring at certain times. But the right one is out there, just waiting to be discovered by you.<br /><br />Besides a beautifully complex story filled with multi-layered intrigue (oh dear my inner book-reviewer is coming out), there were several lines in this book that really resonated with my deep passion for books. On page 8, it says (in the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Wind-Carlos-Ruiz-Zaf%C3%B3n/dp/0143034901/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246337874&sr=8-1">translated version that I have</a>) "few things leave a deeper mark on a reader than the first book that finds its way into his heart." (Or HER heart!) That first book has found its way into my heart through many different novels, many different stories that always speak of magic and mythology and love and nature. The same sort of stories always call to me, speak to my imagination and fill me with a wonder and inspiration that I will dedicate my life to encouraging and cultivating, even when the world tells me I am silly. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Find the stories that inspire you and seek them out with an open heart.</span><br /><br />Another quote at the very end of the book, on page 484: "[A character] says that the art of reading is slowly dying, that it's an intimate ritual, that a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us, that when we read, we do it with all our heart and mind, and great readers are becoming more scarce by the day."<br /><br />Everything about this rang so true with me. I fear the death of reading, the slow, tortured funeral procession of great literature. I hope for a revival of the joy of reading and storytelling, the reawakening of the imagination and the wonderfulness that is out there in the realities we have yet to create. Don't let this beauty die out; <span style="font-style: italic;">close your eyes and remember a feeling, a moment, a story, a dream that filled your entire heart and mind. Hold on to that feeling and return to it as often as possible. </span>Keep your imagination alive and thriving.<br /><br />When you do find a story that speaks to you, remember that it only shows us what we already are, the parts of us that we accept and those that we hide from. Don't shy away from it. Read a book that makes you laugh out loud or causes tears to spill from your eyes. Do it in public. Be moved.Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-74989234253820207332009-06-19T19:07:00.001-07:002009-06-19T19:18:17.488-07:00Indulgence on a rainy dayThings have improved since my day of doing nothing- it stopped raining long enough so that I was able to play in a great game of ultimate on Wednesday and do a marathon workout/errands/grocery trip yesterday. Of course, it poured all day today and is still pouring, but I had a fantastic day.<br /><br />One thing I'm starting to understand is how to enjoy not having to wake up at 7 am every day just to 'fit it all in'. While I enjoy waking up early, and I think it's a good idea to keep at least somewhat regular hours, there are few things more satisfying that waking up early, stretching in bed, and then letting the sound of the rain gently lull me back into sleep.<br /><br />I may have also watched the entire second season of Weeds and eaten an entire pint of chocolate peanut butter 'ice cream' while laying in bed today. (The 'ice cream' is made from coconut milk- my roommate says it's weird but since it's been awhile since I've eaten dairy, it tasted great to me! Highly recommended.)<br /><br />At first, I felt badly about myself for laying around all day and eating so much of a delicious treat, but then I realized that I deserved to have some time like that in my life. That is part of what the color revolution is all about- <span style="font-weight: bold;">living the most fantastic life possible because you deserve it.</span> Instead of falling prey to societal and cultural ideas of productivity and acceptable foods to eat, <span style="font-style: italic;">everybody deserves a 'free day' every once in awhile.</span> Do what you will with it!Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-58107052237467291592009-06-16T15:22:00.001-07:002009-06-16T15:43:36.561-07:00Why I'm stressed- Laying it all outI assumed that being done with final exams for the year and not having a whole lot to do this summer would finally bring me the time to relax, sleep normally, eat right, and do all of the things I have been wanting to do for awhile, stress free.<br /><br />So far I have watched a lot of television on the internet, slept in until 2 pm (I can't remember the last time this happened), and all but ate my weight in peanut butter. All of these are signals that I am mega stressed out!<br /><br />Apparently it is possible for me to be equally stressed out by having too much time on my hands as when I have too much to do and no time to do it. I don't know if our culture has just conditioned me to be in a constant state of stress, but I really need to find a way around this.<br /><br />Usually I exercise when I'm stressed, but alas, as I was about to step out the door to go for a run it immediately started to downpour and I'm just not that hardcore about running. And of course I am kicking myself because when I briefly woke up at 8 am it was beautiful out, but instead of taking advantage of that situation I went back to bed <span style="font-style: italic;">for six hours</span>.<br /><br />Since I am apparently so stressed out that I am paralyzed to do anything at all except endlessly check facebook and eat peanut butter out of the jar (does anybody else do that or is it just me..?), I realized I need a new tactic for de-stressing. I know that showering/bathing works for some, yoga/meditation for others, cleaning yet for different people, but I know that before any of those work for me I need to actually delineate why I am stressed out.<br /><br />So many of us are in such a constant state of stress that it is crucial to be able to take a step back from it and figure out what exactly it is that is causing all of this stress. What I have done before, and is my suggestion to you, is to grab a notebook/legal pad/piece of blank paper and write in big bold letters at the top "Why I'm Stressed". (Underline it. It will make you feel better already.)<br /><br />Once you've done that, write down every possible thing that comes to mind until you have nothing left to write. It doesn't matter what it is, whether from the past, present, or future. Hopefully you will get the same sense of relief that I do when I do this little exercise.<br /><br />A little excerpt from the list that I just made:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Why I'm Stressed:<br /></span><ul><li>I don't know what to do with myself now that I don't have a job, school or responsibilities</li><li>My part time graphic design work isn't going to pay my rent. How am I going to afford living for the next few months?</li><li>I'm afraid I'm not going to stick to my half marathon training schedule. I already let rain stop me. Why did I procrastinate this morning?</li><li>My room is a mess. Need to clean it. Was going to after I worked out. Now that isn't happening. I don't know what to do with my clutter.</li></ul>Believe me, the list goes on and on, and even though writing it out doesn't actually solve anything, it gives me something concrete to look at, that gnawing feeling put into words and out there on paper makes it external. Now I am ready to clean or meditate or something along those lines.<br /><br />This is a great thing to do, too, if you are at work because it gives you a timeout to refocus your energy and put a pause on the worrying. <span style="font-style: italic;">One of the biggest things that I think leads to stress is that so many of us feel that we have to always be doing something and that we have to do it all on our own.</span><br /><br />I'm still staring at the monstrous piles on my bedroom floor and still watching the torrential rains outside while sitting on my bed in my workout clothes, knowing that the rain isn't going to stop before my guitar lessons tonight which poses a whole new set of problems. But I'm not going to worry about it right now. If anything comes up I'll add it to my list.<br /><br />Another thing is that once you have a list, you can look at it and decide what is within your realm of choice and what isn't. Clearly I can't affect the weather, so I am not going to worry about it- I will run during my next rest day. I <span style="font-style: italic;">can</span> work on cleaning my room. That is within my control. By being able to sort out what is under my control and what isn't, I will know what steps to take next, which is a huge help in getting rid of that stress.<br /><br />The last thing (I know this is long) is to accept stress as part of our lives. While it is a good idea to cut down as much as possible, don't waste all of your energy trying to get rid of it! If possible, enjoy stressful situations by knowing that you have the capacity to get through them. I think I just decided that before I clean my room I'm going to go play in the rain. May as well make the best of this situation!Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-87046398041682654022009-06-14T15:26:00.001-07:002009-06-14T16:12:43.809-07:00Different is not better, it is just different<span style="font-size:85%;">This is not the post I would have liked to officially started out with for this blog, but my weekend really made me think about </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">how much the choices we make affect everything in our lives</span>. It also made me realize that </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">we will always have to make these choices</span> out of an infinite number of possibilities, and while one choice may have led to something very different than another, it would not have been the better choice or the worse choice; it just would not have been the same choice.<br /><br />I played in an ultimate frisbee tournament this weekend under unusual circumstances. I won't go into detail, but the team I played with was one of two teams at the tournament from the college my ex-boyfriend goes to, and not only do I know a lot of people on the team from when I was dating him, but it was the first time I had seen him in two years.<br /><br />We went to very different schools to get our educations. I go to DePaul, in the middle of Chicago, which is in part a liberal arts college and in part a technical/business school. School spirit isn't really a cohesive thing, and my friends are scattered all over Chicago. I don't live on campus and am generally only there for classes, going to the gym, and frisbee practice. He just graduated from a small, liberal arts college in a small town in Iowa where the school is your whole world and there are a lot more opportunities to get involved within the school and there is a much bigger spirit of solidarity. Chances are you also know most people there, whereas at DePaul I know very few in comparison to how many go there.<br /><br />Hanging out with this group of people from this school for the weekend brought me back to thoughts I have had many times before, </span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >'What if?' thoughts</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> such as, 'What if I had applied to more schools?' or 'What if I had known then what I do now? Would I do it all over again the same way?' Or, more specifically to this situation, 'What if I had gone to the same college as my boyfriend? Where would we be now?' This last one is more because he has been dating someone for almost 2.5 years now and they are clearly headed for marriage. This is totally crazy to me and I will talk about that in a different post, but it's very strange to think that that could have been me. With him or with my more recent ex-boyfriend. And then I think about how maybe I wouldn't find that so crazy if I had made any one different choice in my life and what it comes down to is that </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">it is futile to reflect on the 'what if's' because they are infinite in number</span>.<br /><br />----<br /><br />Hindsight is an interesting perspective but a poor way to judge the decisions you have made in the past, because without those decisions, you can't know if you would be the same person judging in the same way.<br /><br />There will always be something left undone because there are endless possibilities.<br /><br />It is rare for me that periods of my past come back and replay themselves so vividly to me as they did this weekend, but I am happy that it happened because it helped me to understand something about comparisons, time, and growing up:<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />Different is not better or worse, it is just different.</span><br /><br />This is a hard concept for me to grasp, but this weekend was a great example. I was able to make a comparison and <span style="font-style: italic;">understand the duality of the decision</span> I had made four years ago to attend a college in a city. While I may be missing out a bit on that sense of community and opportunity to get involved with more things I enjoy more easily, I also have never felt trapped in too small of an area with not enough new faces or goings on. I won't have belonged to a school that prides itself on being nerdy and unique but I have had the opportunity to really live, work, and exist within the city of Chicago. For comparison sake lets say that I may have stayed in love with my high school boyfriend and played with him on a very established ultimate team, but then I wouldn't have had the opportunity to fall in (and out again) of love with someone very different from him and from myself, or the experience of starting the women's team at DePaul.<br /><br />Neither one decision would have been better than the other. There were advantages and disadvantages to both, but it is impossible to truly imagine my life now without the experiences of the past three years.<br /><br />I know that I would have been happy either way, and in the end I have no other choice but to be<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">glad of the decision that I made, because I am happy with who I am now. </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >I've learned that I must accept and embrace all that I have done in the past and all that I am doing right now</span><span style="font-size:85%;">, and that instead of spending any time focusing on all of the decisions I could have made, I will use my time exploring all of the options still ahead of me with the knowledge that even if something is different, that doesn't make it a better or worse idea. It's just different.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:85%;" >Summary:</span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><ul><li><span style="font-size:85%;">We will always have choices to make that will affect the rest of our lives.</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">'What if' thoughts waste time and energy; they are infinite in number and what's done is done. With the ways our minds work, the only way to look is forward.</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Understanding the duality of a decision is a big step in learning to accept difference withouth endless comparison. Knowing that there are advantages and disadvantages to any decision and being okay with that is key in living a full life without regret.</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">We must accept and love every part of our self and decisions we have made up to this point, even ones we are less than happy about.</span></li><li><span style="font-size:85%;">Quit making comparisons between yourself and others, or between decisions you made and could have made. There is no such thing as better or worse. Just different.<br /></span></li></ul>Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1713969749997446903.post-82077625886836325882009-06-11T15:59:00.000-07:002009-06-11T16:03:13.833-07:00Well, I did it!I have been talking about creating this blog for awhile, and strangely (or perhaps not so strangely) the main thing that was stopping me was coming up with a good name. I don't know if this is a good one, but it seems fitting to me, as the purpose of this blog will be devoted to ways in which I try to live my life in full color every single moment.<br /><br />The name also comes from the subtitle of a book I just wrote for design class called <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Tie-Dye Manifesto: A Guide to the Color Revolution</span>. Sample spreads to be posted soon.<br /><br />Now that I have gone for it, here is what will be coming soon:<br /><ul><li>A better, customized layout</li><li>Principles of the color revolution</li><li>Ways in which you can live your full life in color, too!<br /></li></ul>Kate Marolthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13195739567477277225noreply@blogger.com1